Theatre of the Absurd III: Heads of State

President Bush recently entertained his staunchest ally at Camp David, President Karzai, of Afghanistan, or, as he is popularly known, the Mayor of Kabul. (Kudos to Jon Stewart). With public opinion polls consistently showing his approval ratings in the 23% - 28% range, and criticism of the President's policies mounting, I bet Mr. Bush felt reassured to know Mr. Karzai really appreciates everything the Bush Administration has done in Afghanistan.

Over the past three years, the Afghan opium trade is flourishing again, warlords now control much more of the country, and the Taliban, after four years of being in "remission," is now resurgent. In fact, with the recent phenomenon of suicide bombings added to their repertoire, Afghanistan is beginning to look a little bit more like Iraq every day. And conversely, with less than one third of Iraqis now having access to clean water and electricity, Iraq is beginning to look more and more like Afghanistan. If Iraq's situation gets anymore desperate, they may even decide to accept workers from Iran to help them rebuild their villages, as Mr. Karzai has done recently in Afghanistan!

According to BBC news, Oxfam, a respected international charity, is claiming that:
"... currently, 70% of all Iraqis don't have access to adequate water supplies, and less than 20% have access to effective sanitation." This, after more than five years of direct, hands on, American support for both countries. (We recently learned that Iraq's main power grid is on the verge of total collapse. A spokesman for the Electricity Ministry said Iraq is only meeting half of the demand for electricity as it is, and there have been four nationwide blackouts in a one week period in the last month.)

Usually, when heads of state visit President Bush, our guy likes to show off a little bit. It's the Texan in him. So there was the usual news conference, which President Bush often dominates, while his guests sit with a bemused grin plastered on their faces. It's usually at this moment, that Mr Bush offers profound observations on the state of things, in an attempt to demonstrate that he always reads all of his daily briefings, and knows who's who and what's what. Karzai's visit was no exception. You see, with our Presidential Campaign heating up, Senator Barack Obama drew major international attention in the past week or so, by saying he'd go into Pakistan, which borders Afghanistan, using military force to bring our Al Qaeda enemies to their knees. Barack to Pakistan: " If you won't do it, we will." This caused quite a mess in diplomatic circles in both Pakistan and Afghanistan. There is a mountainous border region they share, where our enemies come and go at will. Neither governments' forces are willing to root out these terrorist camps. Pakistan claims the region is totally ungovernable.

The average American can understand Barack Obama's frustration. After all, these are the same terrorists who killed 3,000 people in New York City. By flying planes into buildings. And their ring leader and mastermind, the heart and soul of this terrorist movement, is still alive and functioning more than six years after he orchestrated the bloodiest attack we've ever suffered on our own soil.

In fact, the reason why brave young men like Pat Tillman enlisted in the military, was to fight in Afghanistan, against the people who attacked us. In an attempt to put Senator Obama and a growing chorus of critics in their place, and to remind his dear friend, President Karzai, just who is in charge of US foreign policy, Mr. Bush finally explained to the the Afghan head of state, the American people, and the rest of the world, the reason why Osama and his minions have been immune to all efforts to capture him. He said, "We could catch him tomorrow...if we knew where he was. We'd catch him, if we had good, actionable intelligence...better intelligence." His words, not mine. How tragically simple.

Well, of course we would, Mr. President. Except, didn't we have him pinned down somewhere outside Kandahar in the late fall of 2001? And he just evaporated like a puff of smoke and escaped? Well, today, Mr. Bush explained that, too. You see, there was no kill order six years ago! The military had to sort of call a time out to try to find someone in Washington who was up high enough to give permission to take Osama out. But today, all that was straightened out once and for all. Today, the military was told, you no longer have to ask. Just do it. If the situation is such that you need to take the shot, take the shot. Which is, basically, what a very frustrated Barack Obama intends to do.

Copyright, August, 2007